Hold The Line

“You have reached our award-winning company, known for our outstanding support. Please listen carefully as our options have changed for the tenth time.

“If you know the new extension for the person you are attempting to reach, please press the money sign followed by twenty-digit  number.

“If you don’t know the new extension, please press the money sign twice, followed by the last two letters of their middle name. For Q, press A. For X,Y, or Z, press B. For all other letters, press the appropriate key followed by the pound sign, followed by the star, followed by the pound sign.

“If you are unsure what to press, press zero and wait for a customer service representative to help you.”

I press zero.

“That is an invalid entry. Please listen carefully to the following options.”

I listen again to the following options but am now more confused. I press zero repeatedly.

“Our lines are all busy right now, please hold.”

Music from a Disney production plays repetitively while I do the dishes, fold the laundry, paint the house….

“Please hold.”

Fifteen minutes pass and my brain is stuck in a small world.

“Please hold.”

My brain is numb. I’m beginning to think that tune is quite catchy.

“We’re sorry, but all lines are busy at this time. Please call back after midnight when the lines are less busy. Good-bye.” Click.

My world is suddenly, strangely, too quiet. I feel bereft.

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